Day 1 - My Biggest Fear

I’ve set myself an ambitious goal to complete The Hello, Fears Challenge. Based on the book Hello, Fears by Michelle Poler; it’s a 100-Day journaling activity designed to help us face our fears and learn more about ourselves. Today marks 100 days before my 41st birthday. You can find more information on The Hello, Fears Challenge on Michelle Poler's website.

Author’s note: Please don’t take my vulnerability in these journal exercises for weakness. I am proud of my ability to self-reflect and recognize when I have an opportunity to improve. I am a lifelong learner, and I am unapologetically authentic.

So, here it goes…Day 1.

Nearly every day, someone I encounter asks me what I do for a living…one person even went so far as to ask what I did in ‘real life’ when they met me at a volunteer function. It’s so strange the level of value we assign to a person based on their profession.

I am currently in a place of career exploration and personal development, embracing the opportunities that arise from this unique chapter of my life but that doesn’t mean I no longer experience pangs of grief for what I lost when I was laid off. Whether it’s a business decision or not – rejection stings.

While searching for the next meaningful professional endeavor I have filled the days, weeks, and months with personal development, such as exercising, volunteering, reading, writing, and spending time with my friends and family. The time I spend volunteering in the community is very fulfilling; it is unfortunate that it doesn’t pay the bills.

I am an innovator and a visionary. Failure is how I learn. The rejection that I fear is of a judgment made by another about me as a human person. It’s the feeling of rejection, not the experience of failure that I fear. I don’t mind at all trying new things and finding that my attempts have failed. I recognize that I’ve been given a unique opportunity to gain a different perspective.

Looking to the future, I can ask myself “what’s the best that could happen?” In 10 years, I will find fulfilment in the ways in which I am spending my time. I will make enough money to both cover my planned expenses and unplanned emergencies but also to save for big-ticket purchases, like home repairs/improvements and family vacations.

I will be a successful author. Success in this area will mean that I have written and published multiple works that are available to the public and that have value to those who consume them. I may not be a full-time writer, but I believe my writing projects can bring both financial and emotional fulfillment.

I enjoy daydreaming about the future, but I get greater satisfaction by taking action to transform my thoughts and ideas into reality. I am currently writing my first book for public consumption, which means that I am already working toward my 10-year goal of having published written works available to the public. I will share more about this book in future posts.

What will tomorrow bring? I can’t say for sure. Mystery is part of the gift of the present.

Stock image provided by Unsplash.