Day 3 - Modifying a Habit
Today I am focusing on identifying a roadblock within a daily routine or habit and then proposing a change I can make to improve authenticity within the relationship associated with that habit. Identifying one habit is easy, making the change will be less so. Bad habits can be hard to break.
The routine/habit I immediately identified when reading this challenge are those brief, special moments I get to interact with my son when he chooses to spend his time with me. The roadblock I experience is getting caught up in distraction with my dang cell phone.
Most moments in our days are not entirely our own. Let’s take a look at a regular work day, before I found myself on the hunt for my next professional endeavor, breaking it down into 24-hour segments beginning with 6am. The recommended amount of sleep for an adult is 8 hours. So, we’ll assume I went to bed the night before at 10pm; I would wake up around 6am.
At 6am, I take my shower, get dressed and around for the day and head downstairs to make coffee and breakfast. Half an hour will pass by the time I complete each of those activities. I then spend the next hour sipping coffee and eating my bagel while listening to an audio book.
It’s now 7:30am. I am ready to start my day.
For the past 20 years, my day consisted of an 8-10 hour work shift; sometimes I would take a lunch break but most days I would skip it, opting to get more work done – not because I would get to leave earlier if I worked through my lunch break but because the work is never ending and I would feel more accomplished having checked off additional boxes on my to-do list.
It’s 5:30pm; the work shift is over and it’s time to head home. But first, a quick trip to the grocery store and pharmacy.
It’s now 7pm. I am home and my spouse and I are making dinner.
By 8pm, we’ve finished dinner and are ready to sit down in the living room where I’ll watch television while scrolling on my phone (gotta catch up on social media, right?!) and my spouse plays a game on his tablet.
At 9pm, I’m starting to think it’s time to head upstairs to pick out my clothes for the next day and prepare for bed, my teenager, who prefers to stay holed up in his room most days, comes downstairs to tell me a story about something that happened while I was at work.
As he animatedly shares his story, I pick up the phone I set down when he started talking only moments ago and I click the icon for Instagram and start to scroll. My kiddo finishes his story and heads back upstairs to his room. We’re all in bed by 10pm, ready to do it all again tomorrow.
There is nothing more important to me than my son; and yet, I allow my attention to be drawn away from him in a seemingly harmless way. Is it harmless though? I have to wonder how my son feels as he watches his mom become distracted while “listening to him.”
My proposed change to reduce distraction is to put my phone away and intentionally leave it where it is while my son and I are together. The result I hope to achieve is that I will be more present with my kiddo during our brief time together. Being present with him will not only help us create positive memories but it will set a good example for him in his relationships with others.
I am grateful that these past few months have given me the opportunity to spend more time with my son. I have the chance to change the behavior now while I’m not working so when I find work I am already intentional about how I use my free time.
Stock image provided by Unsplash.
